Little Gidding

We shall not cease from exploration

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time.

Through the unknown, remembered gate

When the last of earth left to discover

Is that which was the beginning;

At the source of the longest river

The voice of the hidden waterfall

And the children in the apple-tree

Not known, because not looked for

But heard, half heard, in the stillness

Between two waves of the sea.

Quick now, here, now, always -

A condition of complete simplicity

(Costing not less than everything)

And all shall be well and

Ali manner of thing shall be well

When the tongues of flame are in-folded

Into the crowned knot of fire

And the fire and the rose are one.

Excerpt from 'Little Gidding' from Four Quartets, by T.S. Eliot 

Styles of Tonglen - part 2

Drawn from Pema Chödrön's ' Good Medicine' from her Audio Collection

The simplest style of tonglen is 'On the Spot'. It's about taking a tonglen attitude towards pleasure and plain. So, when things are painful or difficult we can remember to practice the simple thought: 'other people feel this'.  This can help mitigate the feeling that pain is an individual burden. Because the sense of shared humanity is emotionally healing. This is enough to open our hearts.  There can be other, more challenging levels, but this simple practice of remembering is good enough.

 The other half of the practice is whenever we experience happiness in life we remember to say/think/feel "May others feel this". It can apply to any everyday pleasure such as enjoying a cup of tea or watching or listening to a blackbird. (cf Rick Hanson's 'Feeling the good').

Walking in Difficult Moments

Walking in Difficult Moments

'In 1976, I went to the Gulf of Siam to help the boat people who were adrift at sea. We hired three ships to rescue them and take them to a safe port. Seven hundred people were on our ships adrift at sea when the Singapore authorities ordered me to leave the country and abandon all of them. it was two o'clock in the morning and I had to leave within twenty- four hours.

I knew that if I could not find peace in that difficult moment, I would never find peace. So I practiced walking meditation all night long in my small room. At six o'clock, as the sun rose, a solution came to me! If you panic, you will not know what to do. But practicing breathing, smiling, and walking, a solution may present itself.

Thich Nhat Hanh, 'The Long Road Turns To Joy'

Tonglen (receiving-giving) or Compassionate Breathing

Tonglen practice is derived from an ancient Tibetan tradition, brought to Tibet by Atiśa in the 10th century, and made clear by Geshe (who used with lepers) in the 12th century. Used much more recently in, for example, hospices - not to cure - but to help heal the spirit - to bring some sense of meaning to pain, to help send out relief to others. It often does not require words, more feelings and images.  It can be a formal practice or an 'on the spot' one - whatever suits. There's a more modern, secular version from van den Brink and Frits Koster (A Practical Guide to Mindfulness-Based Compassionate Living p 84 - 85) which they call 'Compassionate Breathing' The practice has value in all traditions, with secular and spiritual application - requiring a willingness to witness and indeed sense our own and others' suffering. Caution: it can seem a 'heavy' practice as it encourages us to be with and breathe in suffering, but if done with an open, allowing mind, letting us gently explore, then it can be a highly relevant practice and a route to compassionate awareness - for self and others.  Go gently.

'For it is in giving that we receive.'    -    St Francis of Assisi

The following introductory guidance to tonglen is taken from Pema Chödrön's 'Good Medicine' (from her Audio Collection). Compassion is about our relationship with pain - our own and others. We use this principle in all loving-kindness (maitre) and compassion practices. It's all about our shared humanity. This is different from pity (condescending) and even from empathy (can overwhelm).

Usually when we feel discomfort we push away. With tonglen meditation we breathe in discomfort with the sense of 'what I am feeling in this moment is felt by millions of others all over the world'. Then we can send out that which is joyful, uplifting, compassionate, spaciousness - relating to ourselves and to everyone else. Our experience is thus a stepping stone to understanding others. It's a relationship of equality. It can be an everyday practice. It can also help us notice how often we shut down. It changes our relationship with pain (usually we push away) and with pleasure (usually we hold on). When we feel such things we can know these are all felt by others. When things hurt (eg, we feel angry) - we can feel/say/know other people feel this. When things are delightful (eg, we feel a cool breeze when we are hot) - we can say 'may other people feel this". So we use our daily (albeit small) personal experience of painful or pleasurable occurrences to practice this form of tonglen. This can help heal and strengthen us.

The essence of tonglen is using 'unwonted' circumstances to help us mentally and spiritually (Enlightenment in Buddhist terms). Rather than magnifying our own 'story lines' we can just be with, using the energy from our emotions to transform and heal. The sense could be: 'Since I am feeling this pain, may I feel and use it to help others'. So we breathe in with an aspiration to use strong emotion to help/heal others. We are acknowledging we are all in same boat.  We breathe out relief to all who are feeling pain.

So Pema Chödrön teaches that when we feel, see or hear pain and suffering close to us, or further afield, we can do tonglen for our own confusion/pain or for others anywhere in the world. It changes our relationship with pain, especially our fear of pain. She teaches us to do tonglen 'on the spot' - just breathing in the sense of pain, the emotional distress , and then breathing out relief, spaciousness, hope.

She warns/advises us not to start using such an 'on the spot' practice with the most disturbing, discomforting emotions, but 'to practice' with some of our smaller emotions or irritations. Even in these life-changing times, there will still be plenty of these..  

 

 

The Journey

From 'The Journey' by David Whyte:

    Sometimes everything

.        has to be

             inscribed across

                  the heavens

 

     so you can find

         the one line

             already written

                 inside you.